My blogger buds have been participating in this movement going around the worldwide web that I found here, and then added more here. These posts have been a really refreshing way of letting others know "The Things I'm Afraid to Tell You" and to allow us to break down the literal screens that separate us. I have so enjoyed the honest accounts that we have shared in. Yes, I nod as I read them and I feel that little bit of indigestion when a sentiment strikes a chord.

 

True confessions: I am not a rockstar mom. I try, and I (often) fail.

The thing is (I think you see right through this, no?)...I'm not a supermom. I don't wish to blog one way and live another. It is weird to type, however, particularly as a person hosting a blog about happy homes, that I do not have it all together.

And, dear, lovely friends who ask how I balance it all - kids and work and this blog and life. Every day I put in the effort and most days I end up exhausted, trying to be the best that I can for my children.

This week has brought home for me my own limits.. where I forgot school lunches and end of the year Daisy meetings, dropped off crying children at school and completely lost my voice from yelling at the kiddos, and even on a number of occasions asked my dear hubby to PLEASE take over with the kids. I had had enough. I had reached my limit.

And here's what I learned.
 
My children have an incomprehensible capacity for forgiveness.

 

Instant forgiveness.

I sat them all down and in my big Mommy voice apologized for my response to their behaviors.

M: "No problem, Mom."
C: "I love you, Mommy!"
L: "Dats okay, Mommee."

While I am still recovering from how poorly I handled situations this week (my voice has returned)...And fighting my own immaturity to judge them for their actions...these three little people are already over the emotions, the impatient tones, and the harsh words. In fact, I'm not sure they even remember them happening at all.

I have a clean slate. Instantly.

My children have this Grace, still. I realize it's not likely they'll always have this Gift in this way. I realize too that for their own survival in this changing world, they need to have the walls and defenses to learn from mistakes and broken promises and bumps along the road.

But what if?
What if we could really look at one another as my children did and just let it go...whatever IT might be between us?

Frustration, anger, disappointment gone with the gentle breeze blowing by us.

I'm going to try it today.

To fight off my own self-preservation instinct and follow my children's lead. Wanna try it with me?

Pick someone, anyone with whom you are struggling. It doesn't have to be your greatest struggle - this isn't therapy (or even a great self-help blog).

Perhaps it's the salesman at the door who both knocked and rang the doorbell during naptime (URGH!). Instant forgiveness. Poof. Done.

Maybe it's your coworker who interrupted you again or your friend that has yet to return your phone call. Or that guy in the car in front of you who will not stop looking at his phone to go through the green light. Instant forgiveness. Poof. Done.

Maybe that's how these kiddos make childhood look so blissful.

Perhaps it's yourself that you offer the Grace to. Forgiveness is always out there waiting for us, if we only ask God for it. Perhaps you acknowledge this Gift of instant forgiveness...and let it go. Poof. Done.

C turns 5 today, and we celebrate her with the passion and amazing capacity for joy that she offers to the world. Happy birthday, little lady. I hope I grow up to be just like you.

Happy Thursday, friends.

XOXO, MJ

 

On my 25th birthday, I was really struck by the mark of my life hitting a quarter of a century. That significance sat in my soul for the breadth of the day, and a certain reverence for life swept over me. At that time I was living on my own, dating my wonderful now-hubby, and settled into my professional life. I spent the entirety of the day by myself, immersed in writing. I sat on my apartment 3' x 4' deck with a glass of wine and a stack of cards and hand wrote messages to the many important people in my life, thanking them for their friendship and their significance in my life. It was a different kind of birthday, but it felt just right.

My 30th birthday fell on Mother's Day. It was my very first Mother's Day as a mom. I was overwhelmed with the wonder of motherhood, and I was blessed to soak it all in with my momma and 6-month old, M. Becoming a mother put a whole new spin on birth-day, and I was so grateful to my mother for the labor and the process she experienced in bringing me into the world.

In our world of digital communications and electronic reminders, we're able to contact people on their special days in quick, simple ways. On another birthday, I decided to write a post on every one of my Facebook friend's walls, thanking them for their contributions to my life well-lived. Gratefully, my connections numbered only 200-something, and I had something of meaning to share with each person, so the effort seemed natural and worthwhile.

I'm a person inclined to sentimentality and marking the sacred moments in life, and around this time of year, I spend significant time replaying the hard days and the cushioned steps that have brought me where I am today. 

And I am grateful. I am grateful...

because birthdays are like Thanksgiving, minus the cranberry sauce.

 

this from here.

So, what's planned for today? Well, M tells me that there's a surprise in store. I think this will involve a blindfold and a trip to my favorite restaurant, but I can't yet be completely sure. I love how the little ones get so excited about these journeys.

Me, at 3.

For my part, I'll be spending some time in a Sacred space, thanking my Creator for the fullness and depth this year has brought to me, in the darkness and through the light. And I'll be offering my simple words of praise and thanksgiving.

Thanks for stopping over and sharing in my little piece of Heaven. It's been wonderful to share this birthday with you.

XOXO,

MJ

PS. The top image will be a part of a Tea/Coffee Party hosted on Friday over at Laid Off Mom. I'm sharing my story on these happy mugs.