I checked myself three times on yesterday's post. And then I had to confirm again with my husband.

"I have been blogging for two years, right?" say I.

"That's what you said, but I don't think it's been that long," says he.

"No, no, it's definitely been two years...maybe more." I return.

And then I just HAAAD to go back to the old site for Pars Caeli to check on numbers. April 25, 2012 was the first date I had the guts to click the publish checkmark.

Much like other strong relationships in life, blogging feels like I've done it forever and that I'm just starting - simlutaneously.

It's so natural, and sometimes exhausting, to sit down in front of the screen and create a new image, a new series graphic, adjust photos, and prepare social media posts. As I go through my day, I have the blogger instinct running rampid (ooh, this would be a great blog post, or ooh, must get that great sunlight while I still have it for the project). Even when I try to turn it off, I find that it's still there - a need to share, a need to create.

But.

Fact is, I sat in front of this blank rectangle blog box for a few hours last night (while watching TV, scanning social media, doing other work) with nary a word or image to share. I feel like I'm coming upon a great inflection point for me as a blogger (with Alt Reps and contributions in the works) and I have a ton to get done in six days...

And I kind of feel like a deer in headlights.

I'm kind of shocked by this movement forward because I feel like I just got started on this blogging thing, and I don't know what I'm doing. I have so much I want to learn, I have myriads of projects I want to take on, I never feel like a post is totally done.

I've moved beyond the myth of, "if only I had time..." I'm never going to have time, I've stopped imagining what that would be like.

I have this time - whatever handful of minutes here and there to steal - to listen to myself, to offer my ideas and dreams, to put it out there on the page or the post box, if you will.

I find this whole creative process electrifying.

So forgive me if I'm still a bit shocked by it all.

xoxo, MJ

Hi friends! I'd like to share a little something that's been on my mind. It's called:

THE NEW

                     

Are you ready for something new? A breath of crisp, cool air to offer a new vibrancy to your life?

The start of the school year and the beginning of Fall have always been a time of renewal for me. The cycle begins again, and we have a myriad of opportunities for a fresh start.

One of my coworkers and friends, Ricky, shared this reflection with me last week (thank you!) that has had me thinking ever since. The theme was simple...new beginnings.The idea (from the book of Revelation) for each of us to take to heart is that God promised to make all things new again–no matter where we are, what we're fighting right now, or what's holding us back.

Whether I recognized it or not, I've typically imagined recharging and regrowth as these first two:

And, therefore, I've sometimes felt renewed one moment and totally frustrated the next.

What if I can't just start fresh??

Life and relationships are complex and just because I try to begin something with new perspectives, does not mean I can always set out a blank canvas. Challenges and trials leave their brush strokes.

Perhaps these other two ways of seeing a new might evoke a different response:

Perhaps, with grace, our ugly, tired experiences help shape the new life we are meant to live.

Perhaps it's not so much about striving to create the nearly impossible, bright shiny and new.

Perhaps we are to refashion and reforge the almost hidden goodness, disguised as the big, fat problems that we've been offered.

What are you starting new? Do you have enough space in your life, mind, and heart to try something? If not, how will you make that space?

Here are two that I'm thinking of today:

1. Living a creative life with structure and finding ways to form habits so that new life and ideas might grow.

2. Ending a few good involvements to make way for the life-giving, amazing ones on the way.

Are you ready for something new?

XOXO, MJ