I'm not sure I've ever been ambitious. I used to take this as a knock on my work ethic or even my imagination.

I have good friends (looking at you, H) who have known since adolescence what they wanted to "be." Most of them have worked tirelessly, studied and studied, sought out the people with whom they should connect, and have reached these long-set goals.

When asked the perpetual question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I have answered the question in whimsical ways:

Age 4: a ballerina (I have taken one ballet class in my entire life, and I was much more successful at packing my cute bag than taking on first position)

I don't remember having another answer to that question until junior year of high school (when EVERYone and their brother and sister asks you where you're going to college and what you're going to study). I came up with a sophisticated answer, or so I thought, and said I wanted to be an art therapist. Ha, ha, take that inquisitives!

That's not to say that I'm not driven, or passionate, or even, a little over the top. Doing well in school and entering full force into many activities was never the issue for me. And I'd like to think that my career as a communicator and designer is exactly where I belong, full of potential and life-giving opportunities.

Ambition is defined as:

An eager or strong desire to achieve something, such as fame or power.

And perhaps that's where I get caught up.

Ask me to list the 30 places I'd like to travel, and I'll quickly have a scribbled an exciting list to show you. Wondering what experiences I'd like to offer my children? Got that list narrowed down, too! New skills I want to learn? People I want to meet? Yep and yep. I have SO much that I want to accomplish and SO many people that I want to reach out to along the way.

And I've accomplshed many of these hopes and dreams...

But I'm still not sure I'm ambitious.

If I get to any of these goals or positions without the people that I love or the people I have yet to love, I'm pretty sure they'd fail to interest me. I'm not so much an "art for art's sake" kinda gal. Why go to Paris if I can't have my best friend by my side? Why publish a book if I don't have friends who will enjoy reading it?

I guess all this is to say, I think I've settled on the fact that I'm a community gal. If you and I aren't in this together, then where's the fun?

And if it's ambitious to want to meet new people who will teach the unexpected, then I got this.

And if it's ambitious that I live my life surrounded by talented, warm, giving, and curious people...

Well, then maybe I am ambitious.

xoxo, MJ

Hi friends, Man, oh, man, it has been busy around here! I've been away with work while my husband hung out with our kids as they developed the stomach flu. I returned on Sunday evening to a clean house, healthy kids, and a warm welcome home -- nothing short of miraculous.

I'm working on two projects that I can't wait to show you, but they're not quite to the show-me stage.

I'm also monster tired. And in need of a little refresh.

But I've been thinking alot about the quote above. And how my best laid plans now look quite different, and I still think I'm living the life I'm intended to live. It takes me a while to adjust to different plans and the emotions I lay on that transition.

But here I am. In an unexpected place, ready to embrace something new heading my way.

You just never know, you know?

xoxo, MJ

Perhaps you've heard this story before? The one of the superhero who can extend, expand, and alter time? No?

I don't remember a lunchbox with her picture on it, but somewhere along the way I decided I wanted to be this all star.

My journey to conquer time began from a place of confidence and passion. I told myself that I'd been given this set of God-given talents, and with the 168 hours in the week, I needed to spend the vast majority of them working, volunteering, creating, cleaning, mothering... I could do it!! I was on my path to superhero status, so why not?

And underlying that notion...a thought of pride. I am better than. I can do more. Look at me. Watch me.

I can raise amazing children to whom I dedicate focused attention as I nurture their abilities, challenge their behaviors, and impart the wisdom I have acquired through this super special journey that I'm on. I can do this while I give just as much attention to my adoring husband, and just as much attention to making my home warm, welcoming, well decorated, and, of course, trendy. You better believe I'm incredibly successful at my job, giving more than expected and adding ideas only I could offer. Oh, and I can run that volunteer group at Church and come in for centers and help out with after school activities. Yes, yes, go ahead and sign me up to bring in that casserole. I'm running and staying fit - oh and did you see that I brought that great project from Pinterest to life. I am a superhero. Did I mention that? Yes, of course, I've read that 400-page book for bookclub.

But don't ask me to talk about it because I've only read the synopsis on line.

And my Pinterest project...well, don't turn it over because it's not actually usable.

I was distracted at centers and unfocused with my volunteers.

My laundry is unfolded, my dishes undone, dust is layering on my bookshelves.

I can't get to all the projects that keep coming my way at work.

And I yelled at my kids and my husband. It seems they don't see this superhero path, and they just want to distract me with new needs and wants.

Why can't they all just figure it out? I'm tired. I'm spent. I'm sick - again.

I have to expand time. Do they not understand? I am a superhero. I can fit it all in with a smile. I can accomplish more than you.

And underlying it all - I'm better than you.

And the kryptonite hits. Maybe this time it's the permission slip I forgot to submit. Or the event that goes sour because I didn't have enough energy to devote. Sometimes it's a simple as an off remark at work or a tone of voice from home and

It breaks. I crack.

The force field can't withstand this hit. And I cry. And I doubt.

Why are you not good enough to do all of this? You are a superhero, remember? You are better than...you should be able to do this. What's wrong with you?

And the soft, clear voice of reason or of God (or maybe both) can be heard, finally. Shhhhh. Listen to it now.

You are beautifully and wonderfully made.

You are meant to give your gifts freely and with joy.

And that is enough, THAT is more than. Not you. You, my friend, are not a superhero. That job has been taken by One, all-powerful and almighty. Stop trying to take over.

And let go. Drop the mask and the walls.

You are not better than. You are the same as, in totally different ways.

You are enough as you are. Be that. Do that.

And leave the superhero fantasies to your children and the youth of the world. You have deeper knowledge of friendship and compassion, equivalent to any Marvel power.

Be you. Gently. That's pretty super.

xoxo, MJ